Post by Warpig on Aug 9, 2022 13:29:45 GMT -5
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“NOW I AM BECOME METH”
It’s easy to laugh at vapid Hollywood celebrities. Sometimes we laugh so hard we forget the many amazing scientific advancements gifted to the world by Tinseltown’s finest.
John Landis proved that when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object, the former prevails as long as the latter is a has-been actor carrying two Vietnamese kids. By opening a Beverly Hills bathroom stall, George Michael solved the riddle of Blowdinger’s Cat. And science now knows that two vehicles traveling toward each other at the same velocity will never pass as long as one of the drivers is Matthew Broderick.
We can now add to that esteemed list of Weinstein’s Einsteins the name Terrence Howard.
Howard is best known for roles in films like Crash, Mr. Holland’s Opus, and Red Tails (he has a “pretentious and overrated” clause in his contract), as well as Big Momma’s House and Glitter (the clause also says “crappy”). A convicted spousal abuser and admitted hardcore druggie, Howard most recently starred on the TV show Empire alongside Jussie Smollett.
And when Smollett invented weatherproof invisible MAGAs, Howard, who claims to hold a PhD in chemical engineering from South Carolina State (even though he never attended the school, which offers no such degree) and who runs a website dedicated to proving 1×1=2, had to step up his game.
Last week Howard gave a lecture in Uganda at the invitation of the nation’s Minister of Agriculture (a corn husk with googly eyes). Addressing a crowd of Ebola-scarred witch doctors, Howard declared that he’d “identified the grand unified field equation, and put it into geometry” in order to “develop a new hydrogen technology” to “defend the sovereignty of Uganda” because “one times one equals two.”
He was immediately made Uganda’s Minister of Self-Esteem.
“Look, there aren’t a lot of people in the world who make us feel smart by comparison,” a Ugandan observer remarked. “Now that we’ve found one, no way we’re letting him go.”
Full Article from Vice: www.vice.com/en/article/88qny5/terrence-howard-says-he-reinvented-physics-wants-to-give-uganda-new-forms-of-flight-defense
“NOW I AM BECOME METH”
It’s easy to laugh at vapid Hollywood celebrities. Sometimes we laugh so hard we forget the many amazing scientific advancements gifted to the world by Tinseltown’s finest.
John Landis proved that when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object, the former prevails as long as the latter is a has-been actor carrying two Vietnamese kids. By opening a Beverly Hills bathroom stall, George Michael solved the riddle of Blowdinger’s Cat. And science now knows that two vehicles traveling toward each other at the same velocity will never pass as long as one of the drivers is Matthew Broderick.
We can now add to that esteemed list of Weinstein’s Einsteins the name Terrence Howard.
Howard is best known for roles in films like Crash, Mr. Holland’s Opus, and Red Tails (he has a “pretentious and overrated” clause in his contract), as well as Big Momma’s House and Glitter (the clause also says “crappy”). A convicted spousal abuser and admitted hardcore druggie, Howard most recently starred on the TV show Empire alongside Jussie Smollett.
And when Smollett invented weatherproof invisible MAGAs, Howard, who claims to hold a PhD in chemical engineering from South Carolina State (even though he never attended the school, which offers no such degree) and who runs a website dedicated to proving 1×1=2, had to step up his game.
Last week Howard gave a lecture in Uganda at the invitation of the nation’s Minister of Agriculture (a corn husk with googly eyes). Addressing a crowd of Ebola-scarred witch doctors, Howard declared that he’d “identified the grand unified field equation, and put it into geometry” in order to “develop a new hydrogen technology” to “defend the sovereignty of Uganda” because “one times one equals two.”
He was immediately made Uganda’s Minister of Self-Esteem.
“Look, there aren’t a lot of people in the world who make us feel smart by comparison,” a Ugandan observer remarked. “Now that we’ve found one, no way we’re letting him go.”
Full Article from Vice: www.vice.com/en/article/88qny5/terrence-howard-says-he-reinvented-physics-wants-to-give-uganda-new-forms-of-flight-defense
